No more weight obsession; yes to self-acceptance

No more weight obsession; yes to self-acceptance

Hello guys,

Today, I’d like to talk about a sensitive subject: self-acceptance. I’m not leaving in a utopic world thinking; I’m the only one having complexes. We all do! And women, in general, tend to feel more concerned than men. How many times, I heard my girlfriends say I don’t like my nose, my boobs are too small, my arms are too big, etc. For me, my problem is my weight.

The Begining

I recall perfectly when this absurd figures obsession started. I was 15/16 years old. My mom was complaining about her weight, sometimes, but nothing too serious. However, I had that one friend who was a calorie control freak. She was aiming to be a model and was ready to do whatever she could to lose 5 kilos. When I think of it now; which manager ask a 16-year-old girl to lose 5 kilos?  She was always talking about her weight. She was “FAT”- not true at all!  Then she started minding my weight business saying I have a big butt, my thighs are big and so on. This is how it all began!

The obsessive years

When I turned 19, I went crazy. I was asking my sisters and my friends constantly if I was losing weight, I was training like a freak, and I was restricting myself. Eating wasn’t a pleasure anymore. To make matters worse, my dad would mock me if I was eating a pizza, bread or ice cream. He was food police! My mom felt sorry for me and tried her best to help. By the way, food police was on her back too.

The nightmare lasted 2/3 years, and I surrendered.

The better days

After all that unnecessary pressure, I decided to work on myself, on my confidence. Why was I so obsessed with my weight? My biggest mistake was waiting for others’ recognition. I never looked at myself through my own eyes.

On November 2017, I lost a lot of weight in a short period. I was then diagnosed with Graves’ disease, hyperthyroidism. The Universe has a weird sense of humor. For the first time in my life, I was sad being so skinny. Basically, I was stuck home, in pain, with a blurry mind. I couldn’t do anything by myself. Going to the bathroom was like running a marathon. My heart was beating so fast. It was incredible.

I took my meds very carefully, I went to all my endocrinologist appointments, and I gained back the weight. I was healthy! Do you really think the Universe is leaving you alone? Of course not, she has to make sure the lesson is learned! So a friend who never dared to come to visit told me: “Be careful Tracy, your arms are getter bigger”. The icing on the cake is my dad. He says and I quote:  “You gained so much weight, I almost didn’t recognize you” or “Jessy (my 15-year-old sister) your sister is fat now, she used to be your size”. Boom!!!  I was devasted. I was looking at myself in the mirror with hatred for my reflection. It lasted a few days. I was down, but I remembered I promised God I would never complain about my weight ANYMORE!

As of today…

It isn’t always easy. I noticed I tend to focus on my weight when I have things hard in my life. Nevertheless, I don’t want that to ruin my happiness anymore. My motto: me first! I say no to body shaming and social pressure. I exercise. When I’m tired, I rest. I eat healthy. Some days I treat myself to a chocolate croissant. One thing is obvious, I refuse to drive myself crazy. I love my reflection in the mirror. I’m actually working on these haters called PMS. And Voilà! That’s what matters.

Thank you for reading,

ps: I’m sure I’m not alone so please share your story in the comments.

Bisous bisous Tracy,




  1. Christelle
    October 30, 2018 / 11:35 pm

    Post magnifique, très touchant et très inspirant!! En effet, on aurait pu écrire un bon nombre de “blog post” sur notre cher père mais bon (He’s not that important !) . En tout cas big sis, You have to love yourself for everything you already are, for everything you’re becoming! Je suis très fière toi!! On veut plus de post comme ça my friend!! Much Love from your Pounou!!

    • Tracy
      October 31, 2018 / 1:00 am

      Merci beaucoup!! Ton message me touche énormément mon petit pounou!!!

  2. October 31, 2018 / 8:43 pm

    What a lovely post, it’s very important for people to learn to accept and love themselves unconditionally… you can’t please everyone but as long as you’re happy with yourself then other people’s opinions won’t affect you much. ❤️

    • Tracy
      November 2, 2018 / 5:07 pm

      Hello Grace, thank you so much for taking the time to read and leave a comment. You are so right!! We cannot please everyone hence the importance of being grounded. I couldn’t agree more.

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